Perspective: The gift you receive as a recovering addict

I play many roles in this life.

Father, son, man, friend, wanderer, adventurer, student, teacher...

And among many others... Recovering addict.

For the last 20 years (maybe a touch longer), it would be quite fair to say I've treated my body like an absolute circus show.

One of the extremely challenging aspects of addiction for me is that I like the person that I was when I was high or when I drank.

That version of me has lived through some of my favourite life experiences and, importantly, contributed to the strongest relationships and friendships I have in my life today - because he was vulnerable enough to go there.

Leaving that behind, the biggest pickle I find myself in is getting clear on the fact that those things didn't happen 'because' I was using drugs and being vulnerable.

They happened because I made them happen - and I just so happened to be using drugs at the same time they did.

That version of me is not solely responsible for all of my great experiences, but they are responsible for a lot of hurt and isolation I have caused myself and others.

And there comes a point where the price I pay for not being sober is unjustifiable.

Almost like as I got older, and became a father with greater levels of responsibility, the interest rate for recreational drug use was like borrowing from a loan shark.

Lord knows I've spent my fair share of time beating myself up, ruminating and taking accountability for the fallout of what I did.

But if we're going to be fair, I also have to recognise the opportunities that are now awarded to me, being on this side of those experiences.

I mean, there were a few times in there where I genuinely thought I was done for, that I was too far down that track and destined to live a life some addicts don't escape from - but I had a safety net and special people in my life that not everyone has. A privilege I'm very aware of.

And now I find myself in another privileged position, where I have the experiences I have, combined with no longer fearing judgment, to be able to express myself fully.

I'm not of the school of thought that everything happens for a reason; most things that happen in our world are meaningless, neither good nor bad, and humans, being the meaning-making creatures that we are, assign labels and morality to events to suit our needs.

But if they did... The reason why what I went through happened was to give me the perspective I now have on life and relationships.

Among other things, a few of those perspectives include...

- Being an independent thinker is constant work in a world that makes it easy for you to borrow an ideology.

- The better the child you're trying to raise, the harder the job is.

- You're brain is designed to keep you safe, not make you happy, and in the pursuit of happiness, it's very much an obstacle.

- It's a full-time job conditioning your mind and fuelling your body into the kind of person the world needs more of. And you won't get the praise you should, but on behalf of those around you, thank you.

- If you have the ability to create any narrative around the events of the world and what happens to you and for you, you should exercise that free will to empower yourself and others always.

- Tune out from the news, 99% of it is designed to keep you distracted from what you really have influence over - expressing yourself, loving your friends and family and work you love.

- Seeking validation as a fuel source in the form of likes, comments and praise from the world is finite and fast-burning. The renewable source of sustainable, zero-emissions fuel you're after is the drip-fed dopamine you get while doing the work.

- Most people don't want to see you change or grow from the version of you they know - that makes them uncomfortable. So when they comment "you've changed", take it as a compliment, you're on the right track.

- You're feelings are your responsibility and your responsibility only - assigning blame for how you feel to anyone or anything outside of yourself is how you label yourself a victim. And victims have zero power to change their circumstances.

- Every relationship and event of your life holds a gift for you; you might just need to dig a little deeper for some of them when they are buried in mud.

I could keep going, but at this point, you get the gist.

Perspective is the gift given to people who go through something and front up for the reflection, criticism and feedback on the other side.

Going through adversity and not showing up for the performance review is like digging deep for gold and giving up a metre short.

I'm grateful to still be alive with the ability to tell my story.

And I'm grateful for the title of recovering addict, and all that comes with it.